Day 6: In Which I Am a Really Useful Engine

Who needs sleep! Not me, I tell you. I am Strong Like Bull. Up at 6:00 am, and I can power through straight ‘til 8:30. I proved it today, and boy, were they impressed. They kept shaking their heads like they just couldn’t believe it. If there were an Olympic team for staying awake, baby, I’d be on it, no problemo.

It was a beautiful fall day here at Auntie’s house – I got to wear long pants AND a long-sleeved shirt, and I was quite the handsome devil, if I may say so myself. I thought that my outfit, along with my new haircut, made me look quite manly indeed.

Barbara’s house was fun today – more games and friends and delicious food. But for me, the best part of the day was being able to hang out at home with Auntie and Uncle and Emma. Eo was off visiting with Granny and Grandpa for a little while, and with him out of the way, I could finally get to work on the train table.


That silly boy simply does NOT know how to set up his track. So I very kindly made some minor adjustments, and soon, those trains were running on track and on time, as my buddy Sir Topham Hatt likes to say.

In case you’re curious, I’m happy to share with you the trick to staying awake for a really long time: Eat more than usual. I have found that it works for me. Today, I pretty much ate non-stop from 3:30 on: grapes, cheese, yogurt, hot dogs, bowl of cereal, canteloupe, bread and butter, crackers, macaroni and cheese. No kidding. Every bite was delicious, and it gave me that little caloric surge that I was looking for.

Tonight I treated Auntie to an interpretive reading of another literary gem, Harry the Dirty Dog. I thought that her rendition was a little dry (and quiet, too! Doesn’t she understand that when she reads all soft and quiet like that it makes me sleepy? Action, woman! Emotion!) So I helped her out a little by showing her the proper way to read it aloud. Lots of guttural ululating, some pops and clicks, and a generous sprinkling of the words “doggie,” “cat,” and “hat.” I also find that it makes things more exciting to turn the pages unexpectedly – you never know what you might find if you catch those characters unawares, I tell you.

Well, after that, I was still raring to go. Auntie and I sat in the dark for a long time, and I told her about some great ideas I have for this restaurant I want to open. She nodded and smiled a lot, and then, before I knew it, my eyes rolled back in my head and I was out like a light. How does she do it? She must be the most boring woman on the planet.

Day 5: In Which I Befriend a Hedgehog, and Lose My Locks.

Let me tell you about this movie I saw today. It. Is. Awesome. I suppose you could call it “high concept,” but I for one will vouch for the fact that it has a fantastic storyline and it had me transfixed from beginning to end.

It’s called Garbage Monsters, and Auntie happened to have it on hand when I woke up early this morning and needed a little entertainment until everyone else woke up. Basically, what happens is that these trucks drive around. Then they pick up garbage and dump it. I found it incredibly moving, and the cinematography was wonderful. I recommend it highly.

Another high point of the day was when I discovered a stuffed hedgehog behind the couch. It was very large and very soft, and it didn’t seem to mind when I rolled around on it for a while. Now that’s a great way to spend a morning.

Eo and I went back to Barbara’s house today, and I was having so much fun there that I decided that it wasn’t really a very good use of my time to take a nap. So I didn’t. Strangely enough, by the time Auntie and Uncle came to pick me up, I felt pretty tired and cranky, but I don’t think that had anything to do with it.

This afternoon, Auntie and Uncle took Eo and me to a crazy place: the Barbershop. It’s a place where very big men in black capes and tattoos cut off your hair. I got to sit in a funny swivel chair with Auntie while the guy walked around and waved some stuff near my head. It was all over before I knew it, and everyone told me how cute I looked afterwards. Like I wasn’t cute before. Sheesh.

I was incredibly sleepy for the rest of the evening, but I did a great job of making everyone else think that I was Just Fine. I was extremely glad for bathtime and storytime to come around, and I could barely stay awake long enough to gargle some milk and make Auntie laugh out loud.

Day 4: In Which I Carpe the Diem, and Devour Some Books.

Boy, did I carpe that diem this morning. Five a.m., baby, and don’t you forget it. There is NOTHING cooler than watching Baby Signing Time in the dark. Auntie thought so too, but mostly I was impressed that she was able to watch the whole show with her eyes closed. That must be some kind of skill you develop as you get older.

Eo and I went back to Barbara’s House again today, and it was another day full of fun. Barbara told Auntie all about how I played with the toys and napped. She also noted my great pleasure in food. Man, she’s some kind of a good cook. I love her cafeteria a lot.

After school, Uncle and Auntie took Eo and me to the library. Now THAT’s a hotspot – everything a boy could wish for. First, Eo and I played with the trains. Then we did some puzzles and inspected the stuffed animals on the shelves. They had a lot of doggies, and I was sure to name each one for Auntie, because I don’t think that she knew what they were. I also reminded her of the sound that each one made. Auntie is very nice, but I wonder if she’s a bit dim. She opened her eyes wide and used her high squeaky voice and sounded all surprised each time I identified one of them as a dog. She also got her knickers all in a twist when I politely pointed out that the stuffed cat was wearing a hat. All I said was “cat” and “hat” and she just about jumped out of her skin. For goodness sakes, hasn’t she ever seen a cat in a hat before? That poor woman could use a little more excitement in her life.

After our taxonomy lesson, I walked around and looked at all the books. There were a lot of them, I tell you, and I could tell that no one had really counted them in a while, so I volunteered to walk around and touch every single one, just to make sure they were still there. You’ll be relieved to know that they were.

I did make one shocking discovery, however. Imagine my surprise when, on inspecting the shelves, I discovered a copy of Sandra Boynton’s literary classic Moo, Baa, La La La. Now, I had believed that I was the owner of a unique copy of this timeless tale. I simply couldn’t believe that there was another one that was EXACTLY THE SAME. So I sat down, right then and there, and demanded to be shown every single page. Unbelievable. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were a third copy out there somewhere, too.

Dinner this evening was delicious – more turkey and cheese and strawberries – but the best part was dessert, which consisted of some pieces of Auntie’s Portobello mushroom ravioli and some bread balls that I made all by myself. I ate most of the bread balls, but I also used some extra saliva to construct a handy little bolus that I left on Auntie’s refrigerator. I think she’ll really like it – she can use it kind of like a magnet, for holding up lists and notices and the like.

Both Eo and I were pretty sleepy tonight, so we crashed out by about 7:30. They say it’s going to be a nice New England fall day tomorrow, and I’m very excited about the prospect of cooler weather. Maybe I’ll wear some slacks.

Day 3: In Which I Receive an Education, and Become a Swinger

Man. These Sullivans keep up a pretty pace, and it’s all I can do to keep up with them, I’m telling you.

Luckily, I got a jump on things by waking up this morning at six o’clock. Auntie and I got to enjoy watching the sun peek up over the Field, and after eating my little men, a banana, and two breakfast bars, and washing it down with a frothy cup of milk, I was Ready to Rock.

Boy, did they have some fun in store for me today. We went to school, which in this town is called Barbara’s House. She has a very large room filled with vehicles, and she also nicely arranged for there to be some other children there for me to play with. Upon my arrival, I was instantly transfixed by a plastic truck and some little plastic men who really looked like they needed some assistance. I was happy to oblige.

Barbara reported to Auntie that I had a Great Day. She said that as long as she didn’t say the “m-word” out loud (“Mommy,” just in case you’re wondering), everything was hunky-dory. I played and ran and laughed and ate a lot and had a nice long nap. When Auntie arrived to pick up Eo and me at 3:30, I was so excited to see her that I squawked with delight and jumped into her arms. Boy, is she soft. She kind of grunts a little when she carries me around. I wonder if it’s because she finds me a little, you know, heavy.

The absolute total best part of the day was when Auntie took Eo and me to the park. And you’ll never guess who likes going to the park, too. Granny and Grandpa! I don’t blame them, that park is really pretty fantastic, and if I were them, I’d go swing on the swings and slide down those slides every afternoon, too.

Anyway, Granny, Grandpa, Auntie, Eo, and I spent quite a long time playing. To be perfectly frank, I was a little horrified at how Eo runs around the park, willy-nilly, like a crazy person. Me, I prefer to savor every part of the play area. Especially the swings.

First I swung on this swing:







Then, this one.







After that, I swung on this one for a while.







But my favorite was this one. It took a good 15 minutes before I really felt the swing, but man, it was good.








Then and only then was I ready to do a little more exploring. It was at that point that I enjoyed the glory of the slides and the tunnels. Eo and I had a blast, and I especially enjoyed watching Eo flinch in pain every time he got shocked after going down the slide. He is so funny, that guy. Where does he come up with this stuff?

I was already rubbing my eyes by the time we got home from the park, but I still had enough juice left in me for a hearty dinner of scrambled eggs and toast, an episode of Baby Signing Time, and a rockin’ Thomas the Tank Engine dance-a-thon.

I went to sleep at 7:45 tonight. Early to bed, early to rise, you know. I got lots to do tomorrow.

Day 2: In Which I Laugh Like a Crazy Man and Push My Cousin Around. Literally.

This is a man. A little man. A little man that tastes GREAT. I ate a whole bowlful of them this morning, and then I had some more out of Eo’s bowl. Mmm mmm yummy.

I had a fabulous night’s sleep last night – the bedding in this place is stupendous – and slept all the way from when I went to sleep at 8:15 to when I woke up at 6:30. I was happy, Auntie and Uncle were happy, Eo was happy, Emma was happy. Everyone was really, really happy.

Then came the delicious little men, which I have already mentioned. And then came the dancing. These people really know how to party, I must say. Auntie downloaded that totally fantastic Thomas the Tank Engine theme song onto her computer, and she was nice enough to play it over and over and over and over again while I shook it, baby.

Eo and I then developed a fun little game that we have decided to call Scary Chasing Lion. In case you want to try it at home, here’s how it works. First sneak up on someone you know really well. Then roar really loud in their ears. It sounds hard, but don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. I gotta tell you, this is maybe the funniest thing you’ll ever see. Eo spent about 45 minutes roaring at me, and I just about busted a gut. That guy. What a card.

Lunch was delicious at Camp Sullivan today: delicate little pieces of turkey, accompanied by squares of Cheddar and grapes a la Julienne. Suffice it to say I cleaned my plate.

Eo and I were having so much fun, we didn’t really nap this afternoon. Each of us went to our quarters for what Auntie and Uncle like to call “Quiet Rest Time.” I don’t know who’s quiet, though – personally, I think it’s an excellent time to sing songs really, really loud.

After naptime came the best part of the day. Eo and I put on our outdoor gear and went to the Field. I spent a lot of time working on the fire engine – it seems to be in pretty good shape, but unfortunately, we didn’t get any emergency calls.

So instead, Eo and I did our workout. First, we kicked balls back and forth. Then, we put some sticks in the dump truck. After that, we took turns pushing each other around on the bike. Eo had kind of a hard time pushing me – not sure why – but I thought it was a cinch pushing him.

Well, as you can imagine, we worked up quite the appetite out there, so we barreled inside and gorged ourselves on yogurt, strawberries, and toast. I just couldn’t get enough.

Did you know that this place even has after-dinner entertainment? Tonight, Granny and Grandpa came over and we had a splendid visit. Granny read a fascinating new story called The Saggy Baggy Elephant, and I got to practice my scary roar on her. She really seemed to appreciate how hard I’ve been working on it.

By the time bathtime and stories came around, I was bushed. Out like a light by 7:30. But before I nodded off, I sang one of my little songs that I had been working on to Auntie. It was the long one – you know, the one with all those verses and complicated words. I sang it for quite a while. And I think Auntie liked it a lot.

Day 1, Part 2

Oh. And here's some proof that they bathed me.

Day 1: In Which I Meet the Camp Staff

My name is Baby William. Well, actually, my name is William - a very manly, mature name - but for some inexplicable reason all those tall people call me Baby. I just don't get it. I could eat most of the other kids I see, for goodness sakes.

There's this one guy - he's very blond, and I think his name has a lot of vowels in it - he calls me "Baby Wee-um" all the time, which if you ask me is just plain ridiculous. But more on him later.

So today, my mom dropped me off at camp. It's this great big yellow house - Greek Revival, I think - quite lovely, but could use some serious landscaping. Not enough room for pushing around bikes or kicking balls. But the people here are nice, and they seem to love me a lot.

I have the penthouse room - does my mom know how to set me up right, or what? - and this really hot handmaiden who smells a little like my mom.

The playroom is AWESOME. Trains, and lots of 'em. The people here let me use the trains as much as I want, and then sometimes they even turn on the music and let me dance. Boy howdy, do I love to dance. I hear that rock 'n' roll beat, and I just feel the wiggle in my booty. That handmaiden I mentioned - I think she's been calling herself Auntie Erin - seems to have an inordinate fondness for chick singers with guitars, but the Really Tall Guy - Uncle Danno, I believe - seems to have a music collection that's more up my alley. Give me a little Zep or Jimi, and I'm good to go.

Anyway, it was a pretty good first day. My mom gave me a big kiss goodbye, and I settled into watching an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine. It's so great, that show. I could watch that episode over and over again, I just never get sick of it.

Then I got up to stretch, looked out the window, and saw A Dog. Did you know those things go "Woof"? How cool is that? So Auntie Erin took me outside to meet it. Its name was Arthur, and it had this crazy smooshed in face that I thought was pretty fun.

After that, some catch with Auntie Erin, and after that, FOOD. Mmm. Food. I had some turkey bites, some mac and cheese, some grapes, some cheese slices, and then I ate some of that Eo guy's food since he didn't seem to be very interested in dinner (what a weirdo. who wouldn't be interested in dinner?). After my meals, I thought it would be fun to roll around on the floor without any pants on, so I did, and believe me, it was great. I recommend it highly.

We rounded out the day with the old routine. Nice bath, lotion rubdown, jammies, stories, milk, and bed. I was out like a light by 8:15 and sleeping like a baby. Which I am. Cause that's me. Baby Wee-um.

Can't wait to see what's in store for tomorrow!